The decision to ‘unforgive’…

Image courtesy of cbenjasuwan at
Image courtesy of cbenjasuwan at

Let’s be honest here…. When we talk about being forgiving and feeling liberated by it, are we just fooling ourselves?
If my adversary slapped me on one cheek, should I go all Gandhi on him/her and offer him the other one too?
Let’s think about the natural world of animals and their instincts. It’s fight or flee… Not stay and offer the other cheek.
I hear you….some of you….. saying…. “We’re a more advanced species. We are against violence.” And I completely agree. I’m against it too! I would NEVER go looking for a fight. But if it comes looking for me, to be told to back down, or worse, offer myself up for more humiliation, is cruel and a violation of the natural order of things.
Please…let it be known that this tirade does not mean that we should NOT forgive or NOT be better people….We’re good people. We ALL are good people. But just be sure it’s JUSTIFIED forgiveness.
Random forgiveness just shows that you’re too lazy to analyze whether the person who hurt you really has repented or not.
Let’s just be natural. If you don’t like what someone’s dishing, either tell them, or get away the best you can.

After all, the Great Puzo Sicilian Books say, “To forgive is divine… and we must not mock god by pretending to imitate him. Only god has the power to forgive.” [Not quoted as in book]

And when I stepped back….it got me thinking…. perhaps I’m wrong…. but I’ll be scared shitless if I’m right.


6 thoughts on “The decision to ‘unforgive’…

  1. I do like this, but forgive me, I must disagree with bits of it. I agree with the quote that we best not pretend to imitate God, but sincere imitation is most welcome. Jesus is okay with us following His example: “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” and Peter asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

    “Random forgiveness just shows that you’re too lazy to analyze whether the person who hurt you really has repented or not.”

    Josh McDowell gave a great illustration of forgiveness in his book More Than A Carpenter: “… let’s say my daughter breaks a lamp in my home. I’m a loving and forgiving father, so I put her on my lap, and I hug her and I say, “Don’t cry, honey. Daddy loves you and forgives you.” Now usually the person I tell that story to says, “Well, that’s what God ought to do.” Then I ask the question, “Who pays for the lamp?”

    When someone hurts me, I suffer in some way. Forgiving them says, “I’ll pay for that lamp.” Because Jesus paid for all the lamps.

    But, being willing to pay for the lamp does not mean that I have to remain in a relationship with a person who continues to break my lamps.

    And if the person is never sorry, never asks for forgiveness, then I do not forgive. I merely stand ready to forgive. Because for me it is a lot less exhausting to pay for the lamp than it is to be a debt collector.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your input on this. It was very appreciated! 🙂
      I’m glad and open to everyone’s views on forgiveness and maybe it’ll change mine someday, or maybe i’ll learn something more about it, as age and experience have often been great teachers to me….

      Liked by 1 person

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