Analyzing the corporate species.

Image courtesy Source Link.
Image courtesy Source Link.

Now, there have been tons of lists on various members in the corporate world…. Here’s one more to the list!
Disclaimer: This is a fun-list and is not meant to hurt the sentiments of anyone.

1) The male chauvinist: Self explanatory. The one who will take orders from a fellow chauvinist from another team instead of whole hearted good advice from a woman within the same team. If a woman is having a “difference of opinion”, she is either “wrong” or “pms-ey” according to this creature.

2) The know-it-all: Can sometimes be clubbed with the chauvinist (if male). Has tendency to offer advice and knowledge about everything on god’s green earth, whether he knows about it to begin with. (see also, poser)

3) The happy-go-lucky: Will only be seen and heard from during the sunshine period. Never seems to have any trouble of their own. Always chirpy, never grumpy. Basically, annoys the $#!t outta the rest.

4) The Romeo: Crushes on everyone remotely resembling ‘female’. Main criteria; should have 2 X chromosomes. Wears his sleeve on his heart. (Easily identifiable from doo-wop and boy band ring tones.)

5) The stoic: Stalwart, the wall, responsible, reasonable. Usually the one approached for all the answers and solutions. Also, the most respected member of the group. This character is formidable when annoyed. Try to stay on the good side.

6) The poser: A wannabe who wants to be anything that they are NOT. Extremely self-aware of one’s inadequacies, this creature likes to pretend that they “meant to do that” when something goes wrong, and that they knew that it would happen this-a-way (cross ref. know-it-all)

7) The hard-to-get: Often under the impression that they are being ‘pursued’. 9 out of 10 times, the ‘pursuit’ is in the creature’s own head. Approach with caution. You may just want to borrow a pen from this one, but it may appear to it, as though you were proposing marriage, and cold-shoulder you.

8) The hypochondriac: Noticeably absent from desk since most hours are spent either in the wellness room or at a doctor’s office getting an MRI because someone in the next cubicle sneezed. Is also germ phobic and paranoid. Do NOT try to shake hands with this one! You might end up being bug-sprayed.

9) The dim-wit: Always clueless. Never gets any jokes. Thinks people are laughing WITH them when in fact, they are laughing AT them. (Warning: Some dim-wits may actually be posers with an identity crisis.)

10) The jock: Loves sports. Talks sports. Eats sports. Drinks sports. Probably poops sports. Convinced that EVERYTHING in life can be decided with a coin toss. Can be found mostly pumping iron at the gym.

11) The advocate: Has to defend EVERYTHING they say. Arguments are mother’s milk to them. Best to walk away and let them drone on. (can be clubbed with know-it-all). Fun experiment can be conducted with the advocates. Argue on Point A on day 1. And then argue the opposing point on day 2. You will see them doing the yo-yo contradicting themselves as they live to oppose what you have just said.

12) The bored: Just bored. Will be bored even if NASA discovered an alien species living right below their house. Unimpressed with ANYTHING. Do NOT let this one get your spirits down. Just make sure you put enough spirits into it, instead! *Hic*!

13) The observer: Sits in a little corner. Minds own business. Has a good laugh at the rest of the circus. Writes awesome lists. 😀

– The End –


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