I feel less than human…. All I’ve known all these years is how to be a woman. Act ‘lady-like’, be poised, be graceful… Develop feminine traits, art, charm…
I can’t tell if that’s what I really am, or if that is what I have become.
I can’t tell if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing. It has never helped nor hurt.
But now, the world is not ONLY about empowering women being trodden on….
It’s about empowering ALL the down-trodden of this planet.
Men and women alike.
So….is feeling bad for my state, typically female? Or just human? So misconstrued.
Take away that which has always been a part of me…. Femininity.
So now, I am not a woman…. I don’t know what else to be. Should I feel bad about it? Or good? Should I call myself ‘Feminist’? Or should I be made to feel bad that I think I am one?
I wish I knew what to feel… rather than feeling nothing at all. Is it this nothingness that fuels a revolution? The need for direction and belonging?
This de-glamourized asexual feeling … Is it the fourth gender? Am I a pioneer?
Or am I just circling the drain?
What do I do with my lipsticks and mascaras now? What do I do with ties and belts?
What happens when the ‘down-trodden’ men and women start gaining power that goes to their heads? Will the stronger ones force the weaker ones into submission?
Will those stronger ones be men, since they are biologically built thus?
Is it just a cycle waiting to turn again…. are we just in the middle of a feminist ice-age? Or is it like a wave that pushes forward two steps but retracts one?
Will I live long enough to see what happens in the end….if there is an end….