De-feminizing ray…

Image courtesy Source Link.
Image courtesy Source Link.

I feel less than human…. All I’ve known all these years is how to be a woman. Act ‘lady-like’, be poised, be graceful… Develop feminine traits, art, charm…

I can’t tell if that’s what I really am, or if that is what I have become.

I can’t tell if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing. It has never helped nor hurt.

But now, the world is not ONLY about empowering women being trodden on….

It’s about empowering ALL the down-trodden of this planet.

Men and women alike.

So….is feeling bad for my state, typically female? Or just human? So misconstrued.
Take away that which has always been a part of me…. Femininity.

So now, I am not a woman…. I don’t know what else to be. Should I feel bad about it? Or good? Should I call myself ‘Feminist’? Or should I be made to feel bad that I think I am one?

I wish I knew what to feel… rather than feeling nothing at all. Is it this nothingness that fuels a revolution? The need for direction and belonging?

This de-glamourized asexual feeling … Is it the fourth gender? Am I a pioneer?

Or am I just circling the drain?

What do I do with my lipsticks and mascaras now? What do I do with ties and belts?

What happens when the ‘down-trodden’ men and women start gaining power that goes to their heads? Will the stronger ones force the weaker ones into submission?

Will those stronger ones be men, since they are biologically built thus?

Is it just a cycle waiting to turn again…. are we just in the middle of a feminist ice-age? Or is it like a wave that pushes forward two steps but retracts one?

Will I live long enough to see what happens in the end….if there is an end….

I wonder.


Ouch Couch.

As I stood seething in the corner, arms folded and face red, I saw her go into the bedroom….
We’d been married two years now and the fights were getting harder to patch up.
Tonight was particularly bitter… We hadn’t fought like this since one of our early dating days. But back then, things were different. I’d cool off with my friends and she’d cool off with hers… And we’d go back to being oh-so-inseparable the next day.
The thought brought a flicker of a smile to my face. Gosh, I loved her. I still loved her.
The fight was all MY fault. I knew that. The manly thing to do was to apologize. But…. the testosterone was high and my ego was higher.
Anyway, I would make it up to her in bed. She always lets me.
And then I saw something that made my heart sink.
She was walking towards the couch with a pillow and a throw rug.
It had finally happened. We were gonna be one of those couch-couples where the wife typically tells the husband ‘It’s the couch for you tonight!’. We’d seen it in cartoons and movies but we’d NEVER not spent the night together after a fight.
I suppose this meant that the love was gone…. It was really gone!
Resigned to my fate, I stepped up to the couch… I knew I deserved it… I was SUCH a colossal jerk to her tonight.
I was just about to sink into the little couch when she pushed me out of the way.
“The couch isn’t big enough for you. This is where I sleep tonight.” With that, she dropped into the worn in upholstery and turned away from me.
And at that moment, my heart broke ever so silently.

Image courtesy Source Link.
Image courtesy Source Link.