Heart (part 1 of 2)

Image courtesy of Pixabay.com. Source Link.
Image courtesy of Pixabay.com. Source Link.

Threadbare,

Wrung out,

Faded,

Patch-worked,

Cracked and Jaded,

Bruised and Scratched,

Battered and Dented,

Shish-khebabed,

Bullet riddled,

Asphyxiated,

Nauseated,

Decapitated,

Derelict and Desolate,

Decrepit and Isolated,

Bent and Broken,

Blue and Choking,

Annihilated,

Irradiated,

Scorched and Tormented,

Scared and Demented,

Electrocuted,

Drowned and Disillusioned,

Drenched and Deflated,

Hurt and Mistreated,

Blackened and Bleeded,

Acid attacked,

Tarred and Feathered,

Relentlessly Beaten,

Starved and Tethered,

Blinded and Guillotined,

Stretched and Trampolined,

Lynched and Garroted,

Handcuffed, Stripped and Paraded,

Chewed, Digested, Retched and Regurgitated.

Twitch.

Been having these craaavings for lollipops…. and might I say, I NEVER let a craving go unsatisfied…. (This is part of my food series.)

Image courtesy Pixabay.com. Source Link.
Image courtesy Pixabay.com. Source Link.

I can be a lollipop tease,
I’ll suck that sucker all day long,
Think straight, you, don’t be a sleaze,
Don’t let your head get EVERYTHING wrong!

Cranberry, Raspberry, Strawberry, Sour,
I’ll keep at it for hours and hours,
Lemon drop, Watermelon, Pineapple, Sweet,
Melt in the mouth, a taste bud retreat.

Look ALL you want, Jaw dropping on the floor,
I shall lick it on the train, lick it on the bus,
If you have a problem, like I’ve said before,
I’m a lollipop tease, so go on, make a fuss.

Juicy, Tangy, Till the very last bit,
When it’s all over, kinda makes me sad,
Lucky that I always seem to have a spare,
I know I’m bad…I’m very very bad.

The Coffee Song.

I gave up coffee about a year ago….Just like that…. But back when coffee was my ambrosia, I wrote this little number…. Dedicated to ALL the COFFEE LOVERS out there!

Image courtesy Pixabay.com. Source Link.
Image courtesy Pixabay.com. Source Link.

Shaky desk, blurry screen,
Time to stop, tapping caffeine,

Nervous fingers, fidgety toes,
All coz I had four cups of jo.

Frozen fire, burning water,
A dozen cups, turning hotter,

Sweaty palms, watering eyes,
Innards with a nasty surprise,

Aching head, throbbing head,
You feel like the living dead.

Coffee devil sweet u taste,
Call my name, I’ll come in haste,

I can’t leave you, I can’t quit,
I can’t seem to quietly sit,

Need another, for my stress, oh!
Mocha, latte, or espresso,

Turkish grande, cappuccino,
Frothy creamy frappechino,

Fill me with your good long brew,
Kill me with your caffeine crew.

Even when I’m on the bend,
I’ll take a cuppa till the end!!

Analyzing the corporate species.

Image courtesy Pixabay.com. Source Link.
Image courtesy Pixabay.com. Source Link.

Now, there have been tons of lists on various members in the corporate world…. Here’s one more to the list!
Disclaimer: This is a fun-list and is not meant to hurt the sentiments of anyone.

1) The male chauvinist: Self explanatory. The one who will take orders from a fellow chauvinist from another team instead of whole hearted good advice from a woman within the same team. If a woman is having a “difference of opinion”, she is either “wrong” or “pms-ey” according to this creature.

2) The know-it-all: Can sometimes be clubbed with the chauvinist (if male). Has tendency to offer advice and knowledge about everything on god’s green earth, whether he knows about it to begin with. (see also, poser)

3) The happy-go-lucky: Will only be seen and heard from during the sunshine period. Never seems to have any trouble of their own. Always chirpy, never grumpy. Basically, annoys the $#!t outta the rest.

4) The Romeo: Crushes on everyone remotely resembling ‘female’. Main criteria; should have 2 X chromosomes. Wears his sleeve on his heart. (Easily identifiable from doo-wop and boy band ring tones.)

5) The stoic: Stalwart, the wall, responsible, reasonable. Usually the one approached for all the answers and solutions. Also, the most respected member of the group. This character is formidable when annoyed. Try to stay on the good side.

6) The poser: A wannabe who wants to be anything that they are NOT. Extremely self-aware of one’s inadequacies, this creature likes to pretend that they “meant to do that” when something goes wrong, and that they knew that it would happen this-a-way (cross ref. know-it-all)

7) The hard-to-get: Often under the impression that they are being ‘pursued’. 9 out of 10 times, the ‘pursuit’ is in the creature’s own head. Approach with caution. You may just want to borrow a pen from this one, but it may appear to it, as though you were proposing marriage, and cold-shoulder you.

8) The hypochondriac: Noticeably absent from desk since most hours are spent either in the wellness room or at a doctor’s office getting an MRI because someone in the next cubicle sneezed. Is also germ phobic and paranoid. Do NOT try to shake hands with this one! You might end up being bug-sprayed.

9) The dim-wit: Always clueless. Never gets any jokes. Thinks people are laughing WITH them when in fact, they are laughing AT them. (Warning: Some dim-wits may actually be posers with an identity crisis.)

10) The jock: Loves sports. Talks sports. Eats sports. Drinks sports. Probably poops sports. Convinced that EVERYTHING in life can be decided with a coin toss. Can be found mostly pumping iron at the gym.

11) The advocate: Has to defend EVERYTHING they say. Arguments are mother’s milk to them. Best to walk away and let them drone on. (can be clubbed with know-it-all). Fun experiment can be conducted with the advocates. Argue on Point A on day 1. And then argue the opposing point on day 2. You will see them doing the yo-yo contradicting themselves as they live to oppose what you have just said.

12) The bored: Just bored. Will be bored even if NASA discovered an alien species living right below their house. Unimpressed with ANYTHING. Do NOT let this one get your spirits down. Just make sure you put enough spirits into it, instead! *Hic*!

13) The observer: Sits in a little corner. Minds own business. Has a good laugh at the rest of the circus. Writes awesome lists. 😀

– The End –

Rant (1 of 50,000)

Image courtesy Pixabay.com. Source Link.
Image courtesy Pixabay.com. Source Link.

She starts yelling at me,
But it sounds like gurgling underwater,
She says I ought to learn,
How to be a perfect daughter,
I get under my covers,
It’s twelve in the afternoon,
I can hear my brain buzzing,
Like mosquitoes in a sweaty room,
Work is just a Sunday away,
There’s a lot to be desired there,
Cafeteria food’s as good,
As congress grass to a grizzly bear,
Aargh, there’s such a lot to do,
Presentations for the client,
My head needs a jumper cable,
The viscous lethargy is defiant!
Traffic is another thing,
God, someone air lift me out!
I’m sitting, balling fists in here,
Company bus, can’t scream, can’t shout,
Takes an hour or two this travel,
Ain’t  no picnic, fourteen hour shifts,
Got no life on weekdays have I?
Coz I come back home, tired as shit.
The golden egg, there is but one!
It’s a Friday even-ing,
Becky Black put an end to that,
With that automatonic droning,
Now I swear to god,
Someone take this life of mine,
Live it, love it, use it well,
Return it when I’m ninety nine.

(Disclaimer: This piece is a fun-rant and is not aimed at discrediting or hurting any individuals.)

It could have been worse… (Part 2 of 2 of my Writing on “Luck”)

In a city on a pleasant summer’s day, a woman in a multimillion corporate was having the mother of all breakdowns…

Why? Simply because her report was not done. And she would have her arse handed down to her at work that day.

“Relax! It could have been worse!” her friend said.

“You still have an hour to finish it. I’ll help.”

Meanwhile, in another city, another woman was having her arse handed down to her by the bossman.

She’s done a terrible job on her report. Her child was up all night coughing and her husband was away on a business trip. She looked like she hadn’t slept at all!

“Relax! It could have been worse!” her friend said.

“Your husband will be back soon and you can take a much needed vacation.”

Meanwhile in another city, a single mother of two was up all night taking care of her sick child. There was no one else around. She came into work the next day with stains on her shirt and bags under her eyes, no time for any make-up.

“Relax! It could have been worse!” her friend said.

“Your sitter turned up early this morning! Your son is going to be fine.”

Meanwhile in another city, a single mother had just quit her demanding corporate job and was serving her notice. Her children needed her at this point of time.

“Relax… it could have been worse.” Her friend told her.

“You are educated and talented and you have plenty of friends and family to help you during your tough times.”

Meanwhile, in another city, another single mother of was desperately trying to make ends meet. She was constantly between jobs. Her children only got cereal for breakfast these days.

“Relax, it could have been worse” her friends told her.

“Your children know you love them, they get three meals a day and we are there to help you out.”

Meanwhile, in another city, a single mother had to solicit herself to scrape together a meager meal. She was always in fear of losing a roof over her head. The pipes were rusty, the rent was due. Her children were thin, but alive.

“Relax, it could have been much worse” her friends told her.

“Your kids are not spoiled rotten. They know your struggle. They do not complain and they accept their lot in the best of grace. Life never promised to be fair, but you have not given up.”

Meanwhile, in another city, a dying woman was surrounded by her little children and friends. Her hospital room was sparse and minimal but her bed was comfortable, her pillows were not old and lumpy, but the covers were clean. There was love all around her.

“Relax, it could have been much worse” her friends told her.

“You have been around for your children, given them values and love and built them strong. We love them as we love you. They are our own. We will look after them.”

And so, these women closed their eyes for a moment… some for a minute…. some forever…. but they knew…. that things could have been MUCH worse, without love.

Aren’t you lucky?

When i scraped my knee,
Down in the playground,
“Aren’t you lucky?”, she said to me.
“Luckier than others can hope to be…
The little girl in your class,
She doesn’t have an arm, alas!
An accident took it from her, you see.”

Fast forward a few years.

When my love broke-up with me,
I wept till my body shook,
“Aren’t you lucky?”, she said to me.
“Luckier than others can hope to be…
The girl down the lane,
He beat her with a cane!
Abusive man she married, you see.”

Fast forward a few years.

I miscarried my first child, oh my baby!
My world was over, forever, I thought.
“Aren’t you lucky?”, she said to me.
“Luckier than others can hope to be…
The woman at the shelter,
She has uterine cancer,
And can NEVER have ANY children, you see.”

Fast forward a few years.

My husband passed away in sleep, blissfully.
A tear rolled into my sleeping son’s hair.
“Aren’t you lucky?”, she said to me.
“Luckier than others can hope to be…
The woman shuffling along across the street,
Is widowed with debts from head to feet,
The man was a gambler, a rouge, you see.”

Fast forward a few years.

My grandson cried and ran to me,
Told me, ‘Grandma, I scraped my knee’.
With a smile and tear, I said gently,
“My child, you are luckier than others hope to be..
A caring mother to plaster your wound,
A sister and brother, waiting in the yard,
Blessed are those, with love in a family.”

(Part 1 of 2)