The Real Slim Crazy

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Image Courtesy: WallPapersXL

 

(Sing in tune to “Real slim shady”)

Will the loud co-workers,

Please shut up? Please shut up? Please shut up?

 

Ya’ll act like you’re the only one with a microphone,

Jaws on the desk flapping and flapping your gums some more,

And started screaming loud over the phone,

You first were a bore, now you’re a vocal w****

It’s the return of the wilhelm scream,

“You didn’t just ear rape me now, did ye?”

And my doctor said,

“Nothing you idiot, your ear drum has a tear, you can’t even hear straight!”

Then there’s this woman who’s gossiping,

“My husband, I’m done with him

Look at him, not walkin the dog or lending a hand with this or that,

Slipping in dog poo.” “Yeah, but he’s good for something though!”

“Yeah, he screws in all the bulbs but blows a fuse

But no worse than what my sister and her husband go through!

Sometimes she wants to watch a soap on TV and just let loose but can’t

But it’s cool for him to watch sports from dawn till noon

Her rum is on her lips, her rum is on her lips,

And If she’s lucky, this time she might just not slip,

That’s the message she delivers to her little kids,

Expects them not to know what A.Anonymous is.

Of course they’re gonna wanna know how to take shots, and not go out and play

They’ve got social media with no parent control, don’t they?”

We ain’t nothing but annoyed employees, well some of us are on contract,

Who’re so down on the ladder we can’t see nothin but a*******.

But if we can hear your crappy talk and boring news,

There’s no reason for me not to try and judge your use,

But if you feel like you’ve gotta speak, I’ve the antidote,

Think of all the s*** i’ve learned about you splashed on bulletin boards.

Cereal Boyfriend

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Image courtesy, pixabay.com

Corn Flakes and you,
Both taste the same,
A rose smells as sweet,
By any other name..

 

Once, twice, four times,
You played the same game,
My stupid unruly feelings,
I couldn’t but tame.

 

Crunchy munchy goodness,
You promised to be,
But when i supplied the milk,
You turned out pretty soggy,

 

Saying that you’re busy,
Tired, unwell, hungry,
But when you wanted to chase me,
Time you had, a-plenty!

 

Think i ought to change,
The brand i usually buy,
I think i ought to change,
My stereotypical guy,

 

For superficial reasons,
We found each other HOT!
But baby, the thing about cereal,
Is the crack, the fizzle and pop.

 

You seldom have it for dinner,
it’s out of your mind by nine,
And the bowl is washed and stowed,
Till tomorrow’s breakfast time.

 

Just a sugar rush you are,
Just a temporary high,
And once i have been spent,
I’m left up high and dry.

 

Thank you i suppose,
For making me realise,
That you’re just a box of glucose,
And you don’t come with a prize

The complaint.

Right. So sometimes I just want to tell the world to “stop fucking with me…just…stop!”

I’ve had it with the wars, terror, famine, poverty, pollution, nuclear threats, dictatorship, civil strikes, unaccountability.

I’ve also had it with nagging neighbors, the salesmen who call at odd hours, the self proclaimed do-gooders, the friends without any benefits, the therapy and the pills, the gossip, the tattle-taling, the hostility and animosity, the running around, the picking-yourself-up…

Dear soul…. The time really is NOW for a CPR, but I doubt you’ll pull through…

 

In your corner

 

boxing
Image courtesy Pixabay.com

Who do you have in your corner,
Telling you you’re gonna win?
You sure that the guy in the corner,
Isn’t pushing you into the ring?

Will he catch all of your stray tears,
When you’ve fought and you’ve lost the match?
And you are just limping towards him,
If you fall, do you think he’ll catch?

What If the gloves were on his wrists,
Would you push him to his death?
Would you be his cast in the plaster,
Support him when he’s a mess?

If you have a man in your corner,
Keeping you away from the fight,
Hold him very close to your life,
His kinship will lead you to light.

Catatonia

Catatonia
Image courtesy Pixabay.com

A cry for help,

Unnoticed, unheard,

Disguised as bad attitude,

Bridges that were burned

No one cared,

With worries of their own,

None came to help,

Left naked and alone

Lived on facebook,

Sustained on likes,

Made a lot of “friends”

But more enemies on the side

Life became a web,

She was a bug on the line,

In a weird chess game,

Caught from time to time

Didn’t seek help,

Didn’t know how,

Big strong voice of sunshine,

Silent in shadows now

A little cry for help,

Escapes her lips now and then,

But with all the bridges burned,

She has none to call as “friend”

Everything sets her off,

Skittish as a kitten,

Her brain once so bright,

Into pulp is beaten

No grasp of reality,

No clue on how to react,

Body goes into shock,

Heart goes into attack

Hanging in limbo,

Neither dead nor alive,

Decrepit mind which was-

Once as busy as a hive.

No blessed peace,

Just an aching in her being,

She shut her eyes tight,

But the tears still keep on streaming

Drew her knees close,

As close as they would come,

At least her body was real,

Her mind had gone so numb

Not a squeak to spare,

No opinions to share,

Just a puppet in her own life,

But she was no longer there…

 

 

 

 

 

“If I had a clone…”

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Clone Wars.”

“If I had a clone, I would draw the outline,
She’d colour within the boundary,
She would do the dishes,
I would do the laundry,

I would beat the egg,
She would fold in the batter,
I would be the chitter,
She would be the chatter!

I would strum the melody,
She would write the song,
And in perfect harmony,
We would sing along…

I always wanted a sibling,
A sister I could call my own,
Well that didn’t happen,
At least I have my clone! ”

😀